Do you watch YouTubers? Do you know Ryan Higa? Are you familiar with the challenge that he started called Roast Yourself Challenge? “The idea behind this challenge is basically to look at yourself as if you’re another person and then do exactly what the title says — roast yourself,” he explains. “Once you realize and call yourself out on your flaws, it’s a lot harder to make fun of someone else’s flaws.” Several big name stars have already taken the bait but my personal favorite was D-Trix’s because it got way too real that I felt bad for him… and for myself.

Being his fan (and following each other on Twitter 😉) for 4 years, I know where he is coming from. And by watching this video of him, I realized that…

… I am the latter one.

This is already my 5th year in college and the degree program I am taking right now is not even my first degree program in college. The university I am in right now is also not the first university I attended. Quite confusing? Well I started attending Far Eastern University in 2012. Then I shifted to another degree program during the first half of 2014. Finally I transferred to University of the Philippines during the second half of 2014. Now that 2017 is coming, I am planning to shift again. Right now I am majoring in Math but I am planning to major in Science and Health instead. The reason? I am running away from failure.

Actually, I have a graduating status by now because I only have 22 units left.

However, I just got my first failing mark ever since I was born. And that is really a big deal for me.. and a much much bigger deal for my family.. but of course a much much muchhhh bigger deal for my relatives (especially knowing that their eyes are on me). I can’t stress this enough. I started this semester knowing that there’s a big possibility that I might really fail Math 109 since no one (who has the same degree program as I have) has not failed to pass this course.

It actually took me months to decide that since I do not want to make the same mistake again and I do not want to take Math 109 again, I thought that I should just probably change my major which made me realize that I am not actually chasing success, instead I am running from failure. Since I started attending college, all I really did is run from failure to the point of taking the degree program I neither love nor hate just for the sake of getting a diploma.

It’s just the first year of my post-teenager life but I already failed to live up to the expectations. It’s so amusing to think that until now my problem is still about my education when most people around me who are my age are having love problems already. I think they are one step ahead of me. 🤔

8 thoughts on “Greatest Realization of 2016”

  1. Maybe most people your age should (also) worry about their education? Maybe you’re the one doing it right?
    In a way I wish I was young again because then I would have chosen another career direction and get other opportunities, but I also really do NOT envy those who are young today.
    I feel familiar with the “running from failure” instead of chasing success thing. Right now I’m kind of taking a break from everything to think of what I want to do with the rest of my life.

  2. “Chasing success or running away from failure?” I never really realized it that way before. It’s quite a mind-blowing notion.

    I’m having the same dilemma as you do right now, Kate! *tears* I feel frequently unhappy and discontented with my degree program, and would want to go for Fine Arts instead. But let’s hope for the best for both of us.

    Good luck, Kate! Always listen to your heart, and try to ignore negative people.

    1. Aww it really feels good to know someone who understand the pain people like us are going through and being with people in the same situation as me always makes me feel better. Good luck to us! 😀

  3. Congrats on getting close to graduation!

    It’s ok to fail some modules. You will get more failures in life after graduation and this failure will become pretty small in future…

  4. It’s okay not to know what you want now, but I know these failures can haunt you, but you can’t let them at all. They weren’t the way you were meant to go and I would take it like that. Plus Ryan Higa is not only hilarious but pretty handsome, too <3

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